Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
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