i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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