College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
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