Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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