I like to think it a success when the cops are called
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
