I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
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