WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
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