You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
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