It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Randomize
