Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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