dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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