He asked to "fluff my boner.."
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
