Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
