Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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