hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
