My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
she pinky promised me she was 18
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
I just googled if crying burns calories
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize
