these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
