Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
