Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
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