South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Randomize
