I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
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