Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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