508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
