Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize
