College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Randomize
