His pubic hair was longer than his dick
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize
