He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
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