PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize
