I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
