I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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