I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
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