if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
Randomize
