He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Randomize
