SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Randomize
