I can feel you judging me through the phone.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
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