Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Randomize
