I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Randomize