Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
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