Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
