Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
