so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Randomize
