remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Randomize
