She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Send help, water and tortillas.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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