Your mouth is God's brothel.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
