did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
no you cant smoke seaweed
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
