I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Randomize
