i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
