She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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