Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Randomize
