His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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