Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Randomize
