He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Randomize
