the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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