Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I would ride that face into the sunset
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Randomize
