These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Randomize
